Hello there, long time no see… it wasn’t you, it was me.
For more than a month I completely unplugged myself from the blogosphere. You probably noticed I stopped posting, but you didn’t know I stopped reading blogs as well. Darkness. Internet Middle Ages, pre-Gutenberg.
In October Ruby fell off the dog walk and sprained a toe. Then a few days later I was clipping Java’s nails and found she had injured a toe as well. It was big, but didn’t hurt and I couldn’t think of when it happened since she wasn’t limping at all. I was asking myself how could I not see when it happened? Or perhaps it’s not recent since it doesn’t seem to hurt her. And again the question was how did I not notice it???
Dog injuries have a very insidious effect on me. At first I feel fine and I think I’m looking at it rationally, but I keep thinking about when & how it happened and within few days I find myself rather depressed. 😦 And with both dogs on sick leave the effect was even greater. I had to take my mind off agility because all I could feel about it was pain. So I stopped reading blogs (sorry folks, I still luv ya, just needed some time to get myself together!)
Luckily we had a busy time at work so I could take my mind off dog matters for a while (including an awesome conference / team building in Barcelona – perfect for my crazy mind!). The dogs have healed much faster than my psyche. As it turned out Java’s injury was 2-4 weeks old. The vet explained to me that the toe is big because of scar tissue build up and that it was normal I couldn’t see it sooner since it has been building up slowly and the toe probably wasn’t swollen when it first happened. He said most agility dogs injure inside toes on front paws at some point.
I was waiting until I would no longer feel such great weight about it. Though the dogs have been running free (and yes, training some, too) for weeks I still feel the weight… And it’s time to let it go.